I joined Youth With A Mission about 20 years ago last month. I had no idea what I was getting into back then but very quickly I learned the whole mission is built on hearing God's voice.
This was a new concept for me since up to that point I had been taught aside from God's written word, God only said "yes, no, or wait" and that didn't leave many options. You had to be asking all the right questions and this way of thinking left most of the responsibility on the individual to study the word of God in order to know what was required.
I still think the word of God is vital to hearing God well, but my understanding is much richer and deeper than it was back then.
I now believe and understand God speaks today to His people. His sheep hear His voice and they won't follow the voice of a stranger(John 10). I've also heard many stories of God speaking to people who don't know Him yet...and I see that God doesn't work within the boxes I tend to create for him.
One of the other values with hearing God clearly I quickly learned was this idea of Lordship. Who has rule and reign in your life and mine? Who is managing the day to day affairs of your life? Have you yielded or submitted them to God?
Do you trust Him enough to do that?
Getting to know God is a part of Lordship, too. If I realize God is good and has my best intentions in mind, then I will know He understands the best way for me to live. If I believe He created me, then He will know what is the best way I will flourish. I will trust Him to direct my life and speak into every decision.
I used to struggle with the word 'submission.' I used to called it the 'S" word because I am essentially a control freak. I think you are, too. Haven't you heard? There are two kinds of people in this world: those who know they are controlling and those who don't know they are controlling (smile).
I want to be in control of where I go and what I do. I think I know which way to go and what to pray and what is the right thing in most situations. My natural inclination is not to say your will be done... but my will be done... I have had to learn how to pray the way Jesus prays and to really mean it because I've come to understand my life is not my own. To say my life belongs to God may sound like a prison to you but I've come to see it as true freedom. There is no better way to live.
But at the time I was struggling...
These YWAM'er were telling me God knows best who I should marry and where I should live and what occupation I should have... and I should trust God.
It's important to remember that hearing God is essentially about relationship. How am I relating to God? This is another thing I learned in YWAM... is the importance of understanding the nature and character of God. We stress knowing God in the place of worship... seeing Him in all his beauty and majesty as well as in His amazing compassion toward us...
Getting to know God in the place of worship helps us to WANT to submit to Him. When we have an encounter with the living God as Isaiah did when the train of God's robe filled the temple(Isaiah 6), our response is naturally "Here I am! Send me!" Obedience becomes an act of love we gladly surrender to.
Lordship is important because if I am asking God to speak to me, I want to be ready to listen and definitely willing to obey Him.
If I ask God to speak and yet I am unwilling to obey Him, why would he speak to me? Also, why would he want to incur more curses that follow disobedience into my life?(Deuteronomy 28). Sometimes God is not speaking to us because we haven't done the last thing He asked us to do. He is waiting for us to obey the last thing He shared with us.
God wants to speak to us but He also wants us to realize He died so that we would no longer live for ourselves but for Him.(2 Cor 5:15). Are you living for Him?
Josephus was a historian and scholar at the time of Jesus and he often used the word "repent" in his writings. This word was not necessarily a Christian word but used in political writings at the time. It essentially meant, "Give up your agenda..."
My question for you and for me is, Have you given up your agenda for your life? Have you repented and given control of your life to God?
And if this seems hard and heavy, why don't you get to know Him better? Ask God for a revelation of His great love or meet Him in the place of worship. He loves you and He wants to show you how very good He is.
There is a level of obedience God is calling his church to. I sense it in the air. I sense it in the winds of change currently blowing through the church. Our response will be to say "Whenever, wherever, however... Your will be done, not mine."
Friday, February 14, 2014
Monday, December 16, 2013
Handel's worship
George Frideric Handel's Messiah went public in Dublin in April 1742, originally meant to be an Easter offering.
I love that at this first performance of the Messiah the Rev. Patrick Dealny was so moved by what one of the female soloists was singing that he jumped to his feet and cried out "Woman, for this be all thy sins forgiven thee!"
There were certainly moments like that for me when I listened to the Messiah at York Minster this last Saturday. I wept silently as I listened to the words and music--trying not to make a scene. A part of me wanted to jump up at points or even fall on my face and just worship. I don't think the refined audience of York residents gathered that evening would have approved!
And the glory of the Lord shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together: for the mouth of the Lord hath spoken it. (Isaiah 40:5 KJV)
My Spirit said 'yes!' This is my hope. This is what I'm living for!
Handel's Messiah is one of my favorite Christmas traditions. Being a worship leader, I admit that most Christan worship songs cannot stand the test of time. Most modern worship music is written to be simple, catchy, accessible and singable-- in other words congregational. But Handel's Messiah is in a class all its own.
Not only is the music sublime but its intention is noble. The music is meant to carry the very word of life and message of hope.
Handel came across the libretto by Charles Jennens when he was in debt, depressed, and contemplating a return to Germany. He was moved profoundly to set the words to music. The libretto was divided into three parts: 1) prophecies about the coming messiah (largely drawing on Isaiah); 2) the birth, life, ministry, death, resurrection of Christ; 3) the End times with Christ’s final victory over sin and death, largely based in the book of Revelation.
Handel's Messiah is one of my favorite Christmas traditions. Being a worship leader, I admit that most Christan worship songs cannot stand the test of time. Most modern worship music is written to be simple, catchy, accessible and singable-- in other words congregational. But Handel's Messiah is in a class all its own.
Not only is the music sublime but its intention is noble. The music is meant to carry the very word of life and message of hope.
Handel came across the libretto by Charles Jennens when he was in debt, depressed, and contemplating a return to Germany. He was moved profoundly to set the words to music. The libretto was divided into three parts: 1) prophecies about the coming messiah (largely drawing on Isaiah); 2) the birth, life, ministry, death, resurrection of Christ; 3) the End times with Christ’s final victory over sin and death, largely based in the book of Revelation.
Handel wrote Messiah in a very short time-- just 24 days in which he barely ate or left his home. It is said that when He wrote the Hallelujah Chorus his assistant found him in tears and he said, "I did think I saw heaven open, and saw the very face of God."
Using scripture in theatre was revolutionary for Handel's day and some people opposed his work. Influential people would try and sabotage his performances by giving large teas and sponsoring other theatrical performances in order to steal away his audiences. "If the Playhouse is a fit Temple..." one opponent published in a newspaper, "or a Company of Players fit Ministers of God’s Word." This person saw the Messiah as "prostituting sacred things to the perverse humour of a Set of obstinate people."
Handel was German and accustomed to having the word of God accessible. Isn't this what Martin Luthrer had accomplished for all of us? The inventors of the printing press and founders of the Lutheran bible were not about to let only a chosen few have the word of God in in holy places but in every part of life. "I have read my Bible very well," he said, "and will choose for myself." In fact, Handel maintained that he knew the Bible as well as any bishop.
Some said that Satan was behind the word of God being proclaimed in the theatre of all places!
Handel was certainly ahead of his time, and I am thankful for people like him who challenge the traditions and popular culture of our day by having a clear vision of what God wants to do.
“I should be sorry if I only entertained them, I wish to make them better.” – George Frideric Handel
“I have heard great music--even sublime music. I've heard music fit for princes, for kings. I have heard music fit for any monarch. But that night, for the first time in my life, I heard music fit for God.”
-- J. Scott Featherstone
Monday, October 28, 2013
Single and lonely?
I was really entertained when I heard a great message on singleness last night. The title, I thought, was "single and lonely?" but I would have renamed it "an introduction to approaching singleness" because I felt like it only scratched the surface.
The speaker did a great job of approaching the topic with humour and humanity. But I felt the message was aimed at people between the age of 18 and 25. He maintained that if you are single you can focus on eternity and our future in God, which is very true. I totally agree.
And you can do that for a few years.
And it's good.
But what about after 40 and still single...having done all those things.
Single and lonely? I would have liked to hear that message.
I couldn't help looking around and seeing so many older singles in our church who are still looking for a partner and thinking he didn't really address their concerns-- our concerns.
Maybe the topic is just too big. And besides...who wants to talk about the desperation of a single person approaching mid-life and thinking "will I always be alone..???" and the disappointment of realizing life isn't turning out the way I thought it would. It's easy to be optimistic in your 20's and thinking "I still have time,"and then approaching 30's and thinking "it will turn out right somehow, hang on to hope!" and then entering your 40's thinking "what's wrong with me???"
I'm not one of those women who ever focused on marriage as a young person. I was definitely living for the future and thinking of what I could do for the kingdom. I used to get impatient with women in their 20's who were desperate to get married. I was living my life and pursuing my dreams and definitely not waiting for a man to fill that space. If he came along, great--but I wasn't waiting around.
But what about the men and women just like me who focused on eternity in their 20's and 30's and still find themselves wondering what the next 20 or 30 years are going to look like if they never get married...? It's a sobering thought. The kind that could make you cry yourself to sleep at night if you dwell on it too long.
It's not something we talk about much in the church and yet I can tell you the truth---I know it's on our minds. And from the many profiles I see on Christian dating sites from my own church... I know that not everyone is thinking their singleness is this great gift from God to focus on eternity.
There is real pain here.
Because for all Paul's assertions that "it is good for them(unmarried people) if they remain even as I. (1 Cor 7:8) we have to go back to what God originally intended.
It is not good for the man to be alone...(Gen. 2:18)
So in case you're thinking you're going crazy in your singleness...TAKE HEART. God never intended us to be alone. He designed marriage and the truth is...very few of us are called to be single.
When I have heard speakers talk about this in YWAM, they have often said "there are a lot of disobedient men out there..." because let's face it-- there are more single women than men. And when you join YWAM, the numbers of gorgeous, spirit-filled, vibrant and strong women out there increases ten times--and too many of them single.
And then we ask the question "where are the men??"
But let me get back to my point. Regardless of how I struggle with this issue, the truth remains that God is able to make all grace abound to us. And what I mean by that... is that He can give the strength and ability to face any situation, no matter how abnormal or unnatural--and I believe that singleness is not God's intention for most of us. It feels really abnormal and unnatural because I don't believe it's what God wanted for us--and yet here we are--struggling through life in all its imperfections.
So in the midst of it all...this is my confession of faith:
God can meet us even here.
Here in my loneliness, God is greater. Here in my 'unnatural state' (smile)-- God is at my side.
God is still the God of the impossible.
So I want to hang on HOPE and keep speaking the truth of who God is. I have met so many older women who gave up at some point. They left their desire to be married with God and got on with life but they stopped praying into this area.
Seek and you will find...knock and the door will be opened...
I think there is something to be said for perseverance... not desperation, but perseverance...
I don't want to stop asking God for something good I believe He has for me. I want to feed myself on the amazing possibilities and the greatness of God. I've started praying more fervently in this area with a friend. I'm not giving up. I'm asking, seeking and knocking. Are you? I'm not talking about murmuring, grumbling or complaining :) That's different!
Meanwhile, I need to work on my relational circle.
This was another issue the speaker brought up last night--this fact that singles wouldn't be so lonely if there were better relationships happening around them-- more of a community in churches. I have coffee with married women but I am rarely invited into families... maybe people don't realize I need family, too. I have to work on making my needs known because people rarely see me as a needy person.
Maybe it's more poignant for me being far away from my home country, my home town and any family. Most people in this city haven't known me longer than three years. I can't tell you how embarrassing it can be for me to invite myself over for holidays but sometimes I can't bear spending it alone. Everyone else who is single goes home on holidays and weekends. I can't exactly nip back to California for Easter...makes it more challenging!
The thing is we do have an aging population of single people in our churches. There's no getting around it. I would love to hear a message addressing this audience specifically. In the meantime, these are some of my honest thoughts and struggles.
Come on single friends! Let's not give up.
"
The speaker did a great job of approaching the topic with humour and humanity. But I felt the message was aimed at people between the age of 18 and 25. He maintained that if you are single you can focus on eternity and our future in God, which is very true. I totally agree.
And you can do that for a few years.
And it's good.
But what about after 40 and still single...having done all those things.
Single and lonely? I would have liked to hear that message.
I couldn't help looking around and seeing so many older singles in our church who are still looking for a partner and thinking he didn't really address their concerns-- our concerns.
Maybe the topic is just too big. And besides...who wants to talk about the desperation of a single person approaching mid-life and thinking "will I always be alone..???" and the disappointment of realizing life isn't turning out the way I thought it would. It's easy to be optimistic in your 20's and thinking "I still have time,"and then approaching 30's and thinking "it will turn out right somehow, hang on to hope!" and then entering your 40's thinking "what's wrong with me???"
I'm not one of those women who ever focused on marriage as a young person. I was definitely living for the future and thinking of what I could do for the kingdom. I used to get impatient with women in their 20's who were desperate to get married. I was living my life and pursuing my dreams and definitely not waiting for a man to fill that space. If he came along, great--but I wasn't waiting around.
But what about the men and women just like me who focused on eternity in their 20's and 30's and still find themselves wondering what the next 20 or 30 years are going to look like if they never get married...? It's a sobering thought. The kind that could make you cry yourself to sleep at night if you dwell on it too long.
It's not something we talk about much in the church and yet I can tell you the truth---I know it's on our minds. And from the many profiles I see on Christian dating sites from my own church... I know that not everyone is thinking their singleness is this great gift from God to focus on eternity.
There is real pain here.
Because for all Paul's assertions that "it is good for them(unmarried people) if they remain even as I. (1 Cor 7:8) we have to go back to what God originally intended.
It is not good for the man to be alone...(Gen. 2:18)
So in case you're thinking you're going crazy in your singleness...TAKE HEART. God never intended us to be alone. He designed marriage and the truth is...very few of us are called to be single.
When I have heard speakers talk about this in YWAM, they have often said "there are a lot of disobedient men out there..." because let's face it-- there are more single women than men. And when you join YWAM, the numbers of gorgeous, spirit-filled, vibrant and strong women out there increases ten times--and too many of them single.
And then we ask the question "where are the men??"
But let me get back to my point. Regardless of how I struggle with this issue, the truth remains that God is able to make all grace abound to us. And what I mean by that... is that He can give the strength and ability to face any situation, no matter how abnormal or unnatural--and I believe that singleness is not God's intention for most of us. It feels really abnormal and unnatural because I don't believe it's what God wanted for us--and yet here we are--struggling through life in all its imperfections.
So in the midst of it all...this is my confession of faith:
God can meet us even here.
Here in my loneliness, God is greater. Here in my 'unnatural state' (smile)-- God is at my side.
God is still the God of the impossible.
So I want to hang on HOPE and keep speaking the truth of who God is. I have met so many older women who gave up at some point. They left their desire to be married with God and got on with life but they stopped praying into this area.
Seek and you will find...knock and the door will be opened...
I think there is something to be said for perseverance... not desperation, but perseverance...
I don't want to stop asking God for something good I believe He has for me. I want to feed myself on the amazing possibilities and the greatness of God. I've started praying more fervently in this area with a friend. I'm not giving up. I'm asking, seeking and knocking. Are you? I'm not talking about murmuring, grumbling or complaining :) That's different!
Meanwhile, I need to work on my relational circle.
This was another issue the speaker brought up last night--this fact that singles wouldn't be so lonely if there were better relationships happening around them-- more of a community in churches. I have coffee with married women but I am rarely invited into families... maybe people don't realize I need family, too. I have to work on making my needs known because people rarely see me as a needy person.
Maybe it's more poignant for me being far away from my home country, my home town and any family. Most people in this city haven't known me longer than three years. I can't tell you how embarrassing it can be for me to invite myself over for holidays but sometimes I can't bear spending it alone. Everyone else who is single goes home on holidays and weekends. I can't exactly nip back to California for Easter...makes it more challenging!
The thing is we do have an aging population of single people in our churches. There's no getting around it. I would love to hear a message addressing this audience specifically. In the meantime, these are some of my honest thoughts and struggles.
Come on single friends! Let's not give up.
"
Tuesday, September 10, 2013
Taking care of yourself
I'm in a new season of taking care of myself.
Sounds a little strange to say it that way but it's true.
I'm responsible for me and to be the best me possible.
Something has been happening to me the past few months that I want to explain here and I don't have much time so forgive the mistakes and inadequacies in expressing myself.
Firstly, I've been learning to accept myself as I am. This is a huge step for me because I grew up in a really critical environment-- a fairly negative one. I have had to really learn to be positive. But I've felt for a long time that something is missing beyond optimism or being positive.
I need to really like and love me.
I've been learning to accept myself as I am--not as I should be or would like to be...but right now.
Realizing God loves me and giving mental ascent to an idea is easy--but embracing this in our hearts and our thinking is another. God's love has always been there. His love and acceptance and reassurance that I belong have always been there. But I'm really learning to accept this to be true right now.
This gives way to my second point.
I've not been happy with my weight for a long time. I have seasons where I get a hold of this and I change but it has not been something enduring. I stumbled about some extreme weight-loss videos on youtube that have been encouraging. I watched some episodes of "extreme weightloss makeover editions" with Chris Powell-- wow! Those have been inspiring. They've helped me to move forward in my own journey.
Realizing that I'm 44 years old (as of last month) and that my energy levels have been decreasing as my weight has been increasing is a sobering thought.
Probably for the first time--not as a means of acceptance or love or approval for anyone--not as a way to EARN love or respect from anyone else-- I am losing weight and taking care of myself for ME.
In the past, I would dread going home to California if I'd been gaining weight. I would feel a need to diet or change myself if I was going to meet up with friends or family--- because of what THEY thought.
I don't care anymore.
This is about me. This is for me. I have to take a hold of my life in order to be the best possible me I can be so I can live a long, healthy and fruitful life.
I've only been in this process a few days but I can already feel the difference. I've been exercising, eating better. The scale was a sobering moment yesterday but I'm facing these things so I can set a goal for myself over the next year. I want to lose 50 pounds over the next year. I think it's totally possible and I feel God's encouragement and strength.
I have a renewed hope and joy in everything knowing that I'm taking a hold of this. I sense the Holy Spirit in me also rejoicing.
God is good. I look forward to the next year and all the changes!
Sounds a little strange to say it that way but it's true.
I'm responsible for me and to be the best me possible.
Something has been happening to me the past few months that I want to explain here and I don't have much time so forgive the mistakes and inadequacies in expressing myself.
Firstly, I've been learning to accept myself as I am. This is a huge step for me because I grew up in a really critical environment-- a fairly negative one. I have had to really learn to be positive. But I've felt for a long time that something is missing beyond optimism or being positive.
I need to really like and love me.
I've been learning to accept myself as I am--not as I should be or would like to be...but right now.
Realizing God loves me and giving mental ascent to an idea is easy--but embracing this in our hearts and our thinking is another. God's love has always been there. His love and acceptance and reassurance that I belong have always been there. But I'm really learning to accept this to be true right now.
This gives way to my second point.
I've not been happy with my weight for a long time. I have seasons where I get a hold of this and I change but it has not been something enduring. I stumbled about some extreme weight-loss videos on youtube that have been encouraging. I watched some episodes of "extreme weightloss makeover editions" with Chris Powell-- wow! Those have been inspiring. They've helped me to move forward in my own journey.
Realizing that I'm 44 years old (as of last month) and that my energy levels have been decreasing as my weight has been increasing is a sobering thought.
Probably for the first time--not as a means of acceptance or love or approval for anyone--not as a way to EARN love or respect from anyone else-- I am losing weight and taking care of myself for ME.
In the past, I would dread going home to California if I'd been gaining weight. I would feel a need to diet or change myself if I was going to meet up with friends or family--- because of what THEY thought.
I don't care anymore.
This is about me. This is for me. I have to take a hold of my life in order to be the best possible me I can be so I can live a long, healthy and fruitful life.
I've only been in this process a few days but I can already feel the difference. I've been exercising, eating better. The scale was a sobering moment yesterday but I'm facing these things so I can set a goal for myself over the next year. I want to lose 50 pounds over the next year. I think it's totally possible and I feel God's encouragement and strength.
I have a renewed hope and joy in everything knowing that I'm taking a hold of this. I sense the Holy Spirit in me also rejoicing.
God is good. I look forward to the next year and all the changes!
Thursday, July 18, 2013
praying for encouragement
I often listen to Graham Cooke because he speaks my language.
He's loving, he's kind, but he tells the truth--and most importantly--you can tell he hangs out with Jesus.
One thing I've heard him say more than once is "I pray for encouragment every single day" and I thought that was an interesting statement.
Makes sense. If God is our source and we depend on Him...then why not ask Him for the courage to keep going?
So I was praying on Sunday and reading scripture and I came across this one in the proverbs right away:
Without oxen a stable stays clean, but you need a strong ox for a large harvest. (Proverbs 14:4 NLT)
That made me laugh right away. I just had a sense that I am just like that ox-- big animal--not dainty or fragile-- and knew that who I am is needed for this next coming harvest--and it's defnitely coming.
That cheered my heart. God knows I don't always feel like I fit in--but he knows how to get through. Who says God doesn't have a sense of humor?
I have another friend who regularly asks God for presents. I think that's a cute one. I guess if the way you feel loved is through receiving gifts, this would be important to ask God. Here's the thing, though: God comes through every time for her!
God is good like that. When we call on His name, He answers.
Holy Spirit, bring the encouragement we need for this day to live in Your love and to do your will with a grateful heart.
Holy Spirit, bring the encouragement we need for this day to live in Your love and to do your will with a grateful heart.
Wednesday, May 8, 2013
In my weakness I am strong
Last week I started getting sick…and I mean “knock out”
sick---the kind where I just want to sleep forever. It’s not exactly typical
for me.
By Saturday I was getting worried—it seemed to no t be
improving and I was expected to lead worship at two services on Sunday…from
3:30 p.m. to 8:45 p.m. I was thinking, “will
I make it?”
So I started praying with a friend and he was telling me
declare healing over my life and to live by faith. I did do that. I prayed a
lot but on Sunday I felt a bit dizzy. My
voice was beginning to fade.
I decided to press through it. I even used a stool for
the first service so that I could rest a bit.
But by the second service my voice was really suffering.
I could barely get words out, let alone a melody by half way through it.
EVEN SO… something amazing happened.
The presence of God was probably the thickest I remember
it in a long time in the church. I could sense the tangible presence of the
Holy Spirit in the room. And I kept laughing. It was making me laugh that people
were able to worship and go deeper regardless of the music. Many people remarked at the JOY in the room…reminded
me of Psalm 16 v. 11… You will make known to me the path of life;
In Your presence is fullness of joy; In Your right hand there are pleasures
forever.
In fact, people came up to me afterwards and said “I need
to tell you that people were coming in off the streets because of the worship.”
Today my friend Fiona told me a guy came in off the
street and responded to a call for prayer even though he had just come in at
the end. Fiona told me there were people standing in the aisles just to hear
what was going on.
There was such joy and peace in His presence. I’m really
grateful God came and ministered so powerfully.
It’s not about the music at all in the end—it’s about the
faith that we have in what God can do in the UNSEEN. I was trusting God to lead
the worship—to go beyond my quacking and straining. In our weakness, He really
wants to be the strength.
I think the bible is full of those examples…where he
wants to make it clear to us that our own strength is not what gets us there. Think of Gideon with his army, Jericho and the walls, Joshophat and the
singers…. We don’t like to be put in
that place of weakness. We want to feel competent and prepared. I’m all about
preparation—but in the end, it’s the impossible things I want to be asking for.
I want God to be lifted high and receive the glory due His name.
All too often
without our weaknesses to keep us in check, who gets the glory? God doesn’t
share glory (Isaiah 42:8) I think this is why it’s good to boast about our
weakness! I guess on Sunday it was a clear example of this and I’m really
grateful for that. I don’t like being sick, but I’ve been getting some good
rest and I think that’s been good, too.
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
The Source
This morning I've been praying a lot about the future. I'm asking God for some specific things next year, and part of that has to do with finding my place in ministry and family here in this city.
It's not easy moving to a new country because there is this sense of having to muscle your way into something that is already established.
But who likes to muscle? I'd rather be invited. But invitations don't always come right away.
And yet what is my part in all that? How much does God want me to be active in faith and how much do I wait for Him to open the doors? Waiting can be a step of faith and yet how much does He want me to activate right now. I'm asking Him these things. It's not all clear.
So I've been just giving it all to Him. It's hard for me to let go. I like to think I'm in control. I love movement. I want to see things progressing so it's not so easy for me to wait.
But as I was praying this morning, God was whispering to me that He would provide at the right time. He is the source.
You see, we like to guarrantee where things are coming from. We want to fix something in place. We want to find THE way to handle things...or THE place to go or THE one person we run to. We want to rely on proven methods or proven people or proven churches. We want things "set" for us. And yet if we do that, there is a danger of looking to THOSE things to provide for us rather than looking at God to provide for us. No one is perfect. No church is perfect. No spouse is perfect. They are all limited.
Only God is the perfect source.
One example of how I don't have "one" source of handling things is my monthly financial support. I don't actually have enough monthly support to get me through each month and yet God always provides. I would love to find those extra supporters so I can guarantee that income...but God hasn't done it that way. I have to rely on His provision in the way He wants to do it. God always comes through. I am never in debt.
There are many things not "set" for me next year. I still haven't found a home group, I still don't feel like I have a rhythm in relationships, I still don't know what ministry is going to look like next year. I am essentially letting God meet my needs from week to week. But I've found it hard to find the one place I belong. Because there seems to be nothing that fits quite right.
Big sigh.
So God has been saying to me this morning He is the source. He is going to provide. He does it threw people, through churches, through minsitries, through friends and home groups, etc... but I need to keep my eyes on Him...not on how I think He might provide for me. My eyes are not on the HOW but on the WHO. He is the source. He will provide.
This really relaxed me today. I can get into STRIVE mode when I think that I have to make things happen. I can trust God to guide me in peace. I want to live from a place of peace and rest, don't you? It comes when we now God is the one who provides in His way, not always in the way we are thinking or would like to 'bank' on--but He does provide. We can count on Him. I've been listening to this link a lot this morning and it has helped me to remember He is all we need.
It's not easy moving to a new country because there is this sense of having to muscle your way into something that is already established.
But who likes to muscle? I'd rather be invited. But invitations don't always come right away.
And yet what is my part in all that? How much does God want me to be active in faith and how much do I wait for Him to open the doors? Waiting can be a step of faith and yet how much does He want me to activate right now. I'm asking Him these things. It's not all clear.
So I've been just giving it all to Him. It's hard for me to let go. I like to think I'm in control. I love movement. I want to see things progressing so it's not so easy for me to wait.
But as I was praying this morning, God was whispering to me that He would provide at the right time. He is the source.
You see, we like to guarrantee where things are coming from. We want to fix something in place. We want to find THE way to handle things...or THE place to go or THE one person we run to. We want to rely on proven methods or proven people or proven churches. We want things "set" for us. And yet if we do that, there is a danger of looking to THOSE things to provide for us rather than looking at God to provide for us. No one is perfect. No church is perfect. No spouse is perfect. They are all limited.
Only God is the perfect source.
One example of how I don't have "one" source of handling things is my monthly financial support. I don't actually have enough monthly support to get me through each month and yet God always provides. I would love to find those extra supporters so I can guarantee that income...but God hasn't done it that way. I have to rely on His provision in the way He wants to do it. God always comes through. I am never in debt.
There are many things not "set" for me next year. I still haven't found a home group, I still don't feel like I have a rhythm in relationships, I still don't know what ministry is going to look like next year. I am essentially letting God meet my needs from week to week. But I've found it hard to find the one place I belong. Because there seems to be nothing that fits quite right.
Big sigh.
So God has been saying to me this morning He is the source. He is going to provide. He does it threw people, through churches, through minsitries, through friends and home groups, etc... but I need to keep my eyes on Him...not on how I think He might provide for me. My eyes are not on the HOW but on the WHO. He is the source. He will provide.
This really relaxed me today. I can get into STRIVE mode when I think that I have to make things happen. I can trust God to guide me in peace. I want to live from a place of peace and rest, don't you? It comes when we now God is the one who provides in His way, not always in the way we are thinking or would like to 'bank' on--but He does provide. We can count on Him. I've been listening to this link a lot this morning and it has helped me to remember He is all we need.
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