It's not easy moving to a new country because there is this sense of having to muscle your way into something that is already established.
But who likes to muscle? I'd rather be invited. But invitations don't always come right away.
And yet what is my part in all that? How much does God want me to be active in faith and how much do I wait for Him to open the doors? Waiting can be a step of faith and yet how much does He want me to activate right now. I'm asking Him these things. It's not all clear.
So I've been just giving it all to Him. It's hard for me to let go. I like to think I'm in control. I love movement. I want to see things progressing so it's not so easy for me to wait.
But as I was praying this morning, God was whispering to me that He would provide at the right time. He is the source.
You see, we like to guarrantee where things are coming from. We want to fix something in place. We want to find THE way to handle things...or THE place to go or THE one person we run to. We want to rely on proven methods or proven people or proven churches. We want things "set" for us. And yet if we do that, there is a danger of looking to THOSE things to provide for us rather than looking at God to provide for us. No one is perfect. No church is perfect. No spouse is perfect. They are all limited.
Only God is the perfect source.
One example of how I don't have "one" source of handling things is my monthly financial support. I don't actually have enough monthly support to get me through each month and yet God always provides. I would love to find those extra supporters so I can guarantee that income...but God hasn't done it that way. I have to rely on His provision in the way He wants to do it. God always comes through. I am never in debt.
There are many things not "set" for me next year. I still haven't found a home group, I still don't feel like I have a rhythm in relationships, I still don't know what ministry is going to look like next year. I am essentially letting God meet my needs from week to week. But I've found it hard to find the one place I belong. Because there seems to be nothing that fits quite right.
Big sigh.
So God has been saying to me this morning He is the source. He is going to provide. He does it threw people, through churches, through minsitries, through friends and home groups, etc... but I need to keep my eyes on Him...not on how I think He might provide for me. My eyes are not on the HOW but on the WHO. He is the source. He will provide.
This really relaxed me today. I can get into STRIVE mode when I think that I have to make things happen. I can trust God to guide me in peace. I want to live from a place of peace and rest, don't you? It comes when we now God is the one who provides in His way, not always in the way we are thinking or would like to 'bank' on--but He does provide. We can count on Him. I've been listening to this link a lot this morning and it has helped me to remember He is all we need.
