Socrates said that and though I have my own complaints about "Greek" thinking--I think he nailed it with this particular thought.
Just saw the movie The Five people You Meet in Heaven which was incredible inspiring.
Since the movie starts with all this information, I don't feel like I'm giving much away, so here goes: The movie is about Eddie, an 83-year-old war veteran who dies on his birthday in a tragic accident at the beach boardwalk where he has worked as a maintenance man his whole life. The script explores his life through the eyes of several people who help him grow and understand why his life turned out the way it did.
I think there are moments when we have some extra time to look back and learn from what has happened. It's good to take inventory. I feel like I'm in that place, too. I'm 40 years younger than Eddie--at that mid-point of the journey (if my health holds up and I'm not martyred)- and it's an ideal moment to look back and ask myself "How did I get here..?" and the natural question to follow is "what do I want the next half of my life to look like?" This is especially important because the next 20 years can potentially be my most productive.
I have made every mistake known to man--so I got a lot of wisdom under my belt--lived in several countries and worked with people from all over the world so I feel like I'm equipped, but not so much equipped that I stop relying on God to get things done. I haven't arrived--but I've reached a certain maturity.
I just have enough going for me that I know what life is about and I have a good idea of what I want out of it.
Examination is important. It's important to ask ourselves at key times... what is working? What isn't working? What can I do to influence things to make them work better? How do I want to invest my time to build for the future..?
And in all of that...to ask God... how have you seen the last 20 years? I had some counseling while I was in San Jose over the winter... and I have to tell you--it wasn't that helpful. In the end, I think it made me feel more confused than before. Here's what I learned:: my life doesn't make a whole lot of sense outside of the Spirit of God. Without His perspective, I would be lost. Our lives don't need to make sense to other people and they don't have to be typical--they just need to be submitted to our great God--and we need to regularly ask the Lord... How am I doing? Is there anything you want me to be doing right now? Because in the end, He is the one who's good will and pleasure we want to achieve in life.
I think that's why Paul said in 1 Corinthians 4:3-4
But to me it is a very small thing that I may be examined by you, or by any human [b]court; in fact, I do not even examine myself. 4 For I am conscious of nothing against myself, yet I am not by this acquitted; but the one who examines me is the Lord.
We need to be careful to do our examining IN THE LORD... He is the only one who can truly give us the answers. It's wise to get lots of input from people but if we haven't sought God's input-- we are likely to lose our way along the path. God made us. He knows the places we were meant to walk. Why not ask Him to examine us... and see what He might say today.
Friday, August 24, 2012
Thursday, August 23, 2012
Adventure before dementia
The above statement has more rhyme with a British accent, pronounced something like adventia before dementia for all you Americans.
I saw this painted on the side of a buggy attached to a motorcycle today. There were quite a few cyclists in a row, all in their 50's or 60's. I like that, because a lot of people give up their dreams as they get older. And there is a whole lot of adventure out there for anyone who is willing to take a risk.
A friend of mine in his late 50's went up for prayer recently saying he was thinking of studying and wanted prayer at a local church. He was told by one of the people who was supposed to be praying for him that his desire was "pie in the sky." People say that kind of thing when they don't know what God is like.
For the promise to Abraham or to his descendants that he would be heir of the world was not through the Law, but through the righteousness of faith. In hope against hope he believed, so that he might become a father of many nations according to that which had been spoken, "SO SHALL YOUR DESCENDANTS BE." (Romans 4:13, 18 NASB)
Abraham was promised a son that didn't come until his wife was well beyond child-bearing age. Even Sarah had a good laugh about it. Abraham is the father of faith, and this is why...he not only believed for a son that came at an impossible time but that his descendants would out number the stars...talk about pie in the sky. :)
Faith is what God wants most from us. He wants it so much that it even says in His word "Without faith it is impossible to please God..." (Hebrews 11:6). It is exactly the pie in the sky things that God wants us to trust Him for.
My dad is in his 70's and he is writing screen plays, pioneering prison ministry, and leading bible study. He is still living his life and moving forward. I wish I remembered his name but I met a 72 year old man in Hawaii at the training center who was set on becoming a missionary in china. It never crossed my mind that he couldn't achieve it. He had become a Christian quite miraculously in his 50's and was on fire for God! It's never too late to start again.
I organized a tour of churches around England last autumn and got to pray with a lot of people about their dreams and desires to be a part of ministry or missions. What amazed me most was how many people in their 60's who asked me "do you think God can still use me at my age?" I encouraged them and some of them were already seeing things happen--they just needed someone to affirm them in what they were doing.
It ain't over until it's over.
So why box someone that God has says is "chosen" and a "royal priest." God doesn't see the way we see... when he looks at all of us-- compared to His awesome power--none of us would qualify. Man looks at the outward but God looks at the heart. He has given us His power and His righteousness which has qualified all of us to be used beyond what we think or imagine.
When most people get to be in the sunset of their life, their biggest regret is that they didn't take more risks. I think it's never too late to take risks.
Adventure before dementia. Let's do it. I won't leave you with "take care" but rather "take risks." :)
I saw this painted on the side of a buggy attached to a motorcycle today. There were quite a few cyclists in a row, all in their 50's or 60's. I like that, because a lot of people give up their dreams as they get older. And there is a whole lot of adventure out there for anyone who is willing to take a risk.
A friend of mine in his late 50's went up for prayer recently saying he was thinking of studying and wanted prayer at a local church. He was told by one of the people who was supposed to be praying for him that his desire was "pie in the sky." People say that kind of thing when they don't know what God is like.
For the promise to Abraham or to his descendants that he would be heir of the world was not through the Law, but through the righteousness of faith. In hope against hope he believed, so that he might become a father of many nations according to that which had been spoken, "SO SHALL YOUR DESCENDANTS BE." (Romans 4:13, 18 NASB)
Abraham was promised a son that didn't come until his wife was well beyond child-bearing age. Even Sarah had a good laugh about it. Abraham is the father of faith, and this is why...he not only believed for a son that came at an impossible time but that his descendants would out number the stars...talk about pie in the sky. :)
Faith is what God wants most from us. He wants it so much that it even says in His word "Without faith it is impossible to please God..." (Hebrews 11:6). It is exactly the pie in the sky things that God wants us to trust Him for.
My dad is in his 70's and he is writing screen plays, pioneering prison ministry, and leading bible study. He is still living his life and moving forward. I wish I remembered his name but I met a 72 year old man in Hawaii at the training center who was set on becoming a missionary in china. It never crossed my mind that he couldn't achieve it. He had become a Christian quite miraculously in his 50's and was on fire for God! It's never too late to start again.
I organized a tour of churches around England last autumn and got to pray with a lot of people about their dreams and desires to be a part of ministry or missions. What amazed me most was how many people in their 60's who asked me "do you think God can still use me at my age?" I encouraged them and some of them were already seeing things happen--they just needed someone to affirm them in what they were doing.
It ain't over until it's over.
So why box someone that God has says is "chosen" and a "royal priest." God doesn't see the way we see... when he looks at all of us-- compared to His awesome power--none of us would qualify. Man looks at the outward but God looks at the heart. He has given us His power and His righteousness which has qualified all of us to be used beyond what we think or imagine.
When most people get to be in the sunset of their life, their biggest regret is that they didn't take more risks. I think it's never too late to take risks.
Adventure before dementia. Let's do it. I won't leave you with "take care" but rather "take risks." :)
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
Forgiven much? Love much?
Some people say my worship stye is "American"
They equate exuberance or enthusiasm with American.
I just call it "biblical."
The word "Halal" from which we get our main word for praise means to be "clamorously foolish." When is the last time someone said that about you and your worship?
Most times I can control my responses in worship-- I decide how I want to show my love to God and I've come to realize that I can't help but be who I am. A lot of times when God is touching me I just weep.
I find it hard to NOT respond to God. He has done so much in my life to change me. He is my hope and my song. I don't know what I would do without Him. He is not an addition to my life or a nice hobby or a beautiful theory or a nice piece of literature. He has become my only hope. If I don't have Him, I have nothing. He has comforted me in the darkest moments and been my joy in the sun-- and there is no other life that i would like to have but with Him.
Here is one of my favorite passages of all time:
"And there was a woman in the city who was a sinner; and when she learned that He was reclining at the table in the Pharisee's house, she brought an alabaster vial of perfume, and standing behind Him at His feet, weeping, she began to wet His feet with her tears, and kept wiping them with the hair of her head, and kissing His feet and anointing them with the perfume. Now when the Pharisee who had invited Him saw this, he said to himself, "If this man were a prophet He would know who and what sort of person this woman is who is touching Him, that she is a sinner."
There will always be religious people around to judge how we worship God. They find it "distracting" or "disorderly." They do not see. They haven't understood yet. I love the way Jesus perceives what the Pharisees are thinking and he uses the moment to teach them.
"Turning toward the woman, He said to Simon, "Do you see this woman? I entered your house; you gave Me no water for My feet, but she has wet My feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. For this reason I say to you, her sins, which are many, have been forgiven, for she loved much; but he who is forgiven little, loves little." Then He said to her, "Your sins have been forgiven." (Luke 7:37-39, 44, 47-49 NASB)
These Pharisees had not even given Jesus the basic courtesy of washing his feet when he came in. They did not know who he was. If they realized who He was, they would have honored him. But they did not see and therefore they did not honor him and could not have possibly understood what this woman was doing or appreciated it.
The big difference in worshippers is simple. Gratitude. Do you know what you have been saved from? Do you see how great and holy God is? If you did, you would know what an awesome privilege it is to even come near to Him.
When I first became a Christian people told me "Christianity is not a feeling." but that's only half true. Christianity is not only a feeling but it involves feelings. If the truth of God has not captured our emotions and moved us to love God more, there is something wrong. And God wants to change that.
"These people honour me with their lips but their hearts are far from me..." This is the big pain of God's heart. He doesn't want our lip service...he wants our very heart. He wants it all.
I guess that's why my favorite people are usually people who have been very broken. Their lives were a mess and God redeemed them--and they know what it is like to be forgiven, redeemed, saved-- they know they needed a saviour. They are not looking towards their many good works or their accomplishments which have made them good people.
They are grateful to God.
If you're not, get grateful today. Make a choice to see all that God has done for you and honour Him for it. or get alone with God and ask Him to touch your emotions with the truth of His word. He wants all of you and after all..
He deserves it.
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
Love of another kind
When I joined YWAM in 1994, I wasn't happy with my place on the staff team. It was terribly lonely and I cried every day.
I think I can deal with a lot of things as long as I feel like I'm loved and that people really care.
But that's more rare than you would believe.
Here I was in a missionary training centre known around the world, made famous by Loren Cunningham's book "Is that really you god?" We were running schools and training people to go to the nations and we used big phrases like "discipling nations."
And yet when my leader asked me "What are you looking for?" when we met to discuss my dissatisfaction on staff... I said simply, "Family."
He told me point-blank: "You aren't going to find that here."
I am happy to report that this particular staff team did change quite a bit and became more of a family over the time I was there-- but at this point in my journey in ministry, I was really disappointed.
Jesus said that the world would know we are His disciples by our love for one another.
I think the difference between "love" and "family" is a commitment. It's easy to "love" someone for an hour or so on Sunday but to be a part of family implies involvement in their lives and commitment to help them grow.
I think we are good at tolerating people at church but not necessarily good at loving them.
Here is what Jesus had to say about family:
"While He was still speaking to the crowds, behold, His mother and brothers were standing outside, seeking to speak to Him. Someone said to Him, "Behold, Your mother and Your brothers are standing outside seeking to speak to You." But Jesus answered the one who was telling Him and said, "Who is My mother and who are My brothers?" For whoever does the will of My Father who is in heaven, he is My brother and sister and mother." (Matthew 12:46-48, 50 NASB)
Here's the thing-- we cannot pass on what we don't have ourselves.
I am so grateful to the people who have opened their homes to me over the years--the first real family to "adopt" me were the Ghormley's. Justus and Jayn let me spend weekends at their home when I was based in Los Angeles in the late 1990's. It was the first spirit-filled family I ever got to see up close and personal, and they are still dear friends to me today. Their hospitality to people in their home is astounding.
I'm not the only one who needs family like that-- there are a host of people who need to see what real Christian families looks like...and if we won't take them into our homes and into our families, how will they know the love of God?
God is helping me these days to go deeper with His love. So even when I don't see it in the church the way I would like, I can always find an abundance with the Holy Spirit. I was really struck recently when I heard Joyce Meyer say her first preach was all about the love of God. God told her "Tell my people I love them" and she spent the first year of ministry studying the love of God and working on believing and receiving the love of God for herself.
You can't give what you don't have.
We can only pass on what we have experienced ourselves. When we know God is committed to us no matter what-- not based on our performance--but that He embraces us as His children, we will be able to love others in the same way. We belong to Him and nothing can change that.
I'm amazed at this incredible love of God that is based on WHO GOD IS and not what I can say or do to perform my way into good favor. We need to get a hold of this so we can be the family of God He is calling us to be
Saturday, August 18, 2012
Healing on the streets
The year was 1999.
I was on a School of Worship Outreach with YWAM in the Philippines.
The pastor of the small country church we were visiting had just told the congregation that the three visiting YWAM'ers would now pray for those who needed healing. It wasn't anything we were used to doing--nothing we felt prepared to do--but we had no choice. We were there to serve and this is what the pastor wanted. We had to be spontaneous and flexible--ready for anything.
So quite a few people came forward for prayer and I just went around praying for healing. I had a quiet confidence that even though I felt completely out of my depth, I had to pray and God wanted to answer their requests.
When I asked one lady what she wanted prayer for, she told me through a translator that her hands were always cold and her stomach had a continual rumbling. Immediately what came to my mind was "witchcraft." I asked the lady if she was a Christian and she said "yes" and when I asked her if she had ever been involved with witchcraft she said "no." I prayed anyway, in English, without a translator...I prayed for healing but I also "cut off" any witchcraft that was happening or demonic spriit and moved on to the next person.
At the end of the meeting, my fellow staff Annie talked to the lady some more and found out that she was 1) healed 2) was not a Christian 3) had indeed been involved with witchcraft and 4) and was now ready to accept Jesus as her Saviour because she felt so full of the Spirit of God! Yay God!
That was my first real experience with healing--thrust upon me by a church and pastor who were used to moving in the supernatural.
In February this year I attended a conference at Bethel church in Redding, California all about healing. Randy Clark and Bill Johnson, both heavy-hitters on this topic, just blew me away with the revelation they brought. For the first time I understood both the importance of healing and the fact that the church has moved so far away from healing ministry being a normal and active part of church life.
It's become the norm for most of us to not experience supernatural physical healing. And we are generally comfortable with this, even though it is not biblical thinking. It's not the kingdom of God to believe for less than healing.
So after this conference, the lights went on for me. It was Randy Clark who said he prayed 200 times or more before he saw his first healing. And he has CRAZY stories of people being healing from Parkinson's and other serious illnesses...so I thought to myself...I can do that, too.
So when I got back to England in February I decided to join the Healing on the Streets team here in York. They go out twice a month on a Saturday. I haven't always been able to go(since I've been away several weekends) but I think today was my fourth or fifth time since March. The team prays and worships for about an hour and then goes out on the street for two hours. We erect a banner that says "Healing" and we set up chairs and have cushions (for us to kneel when we pray) Today was the day I finally got to see people healed!
A lady named Mariana had several physical problems...diabetes, a stiff neck, torn cartilage in her knee, and persistent migraines. She was suffering her third day of head ache pain. When we prayed the first time, her head pain left. She was amazed. we asked her "Shall we pray for your neck again?" and she was excited. She said "Yes!" so we prayed some more and her neck pain was gone completely. She kept moving it and smiling. She called her freind Kathy over "come over here! It really works!" So we prayed for Kathy. She had hip pain and asthma and told us she was struggling with depression. Mary and I were praying for her. Mary had a prophetic word for her about the depression and the lady confirmed she was right. Then we prayed for her hip pain and when we asked her about it, she said it was gone. I said "Are you sure it's not because you're sitting down?" and she said "No, because I was aware of it as I sat down...but now it's gone!" She was happy.
I was so excited! It was all happening today!
Then Kerry, one of the girls on the team asked for prayer for stomach pain and that left her also. YAY GOD!
It was just so natural and normal to move in this kind of power. That's what I liked about it all. We asked and God just did it.
I want to see this every day.
I was on a School of Worship Outreach with YWAM in the Philippines.
The pastor of the small country church we were visiting had just told the congregation that the three visiting YWAM'ers would now pray for those who needed healing. It wasn't anything we were used to doing--nothing we felt prepared to do--but we had no choice. We were there to serve and this is what the pastor wanted. We had to be spontaneous and flexible--ready for anything.
So quite a few people came forward for prayer and I just went around praying for healing. I had a quiet confidence that even though I felt completely out of my depth, I had to pray and God wanted to answer their requests.
When I asked one lady what she wanted prayer for, she told me through a translator that her hands were always cold and her stomach had a continual rumbling. Immediately what came to my mind was "witchcraft." I asked the lady if she was a Christian and she said "yes" and when I asked her if she had ever been involved with witchcraft she said "no." I prayed anyway, in English, without a translator...I prayed for healing but I also "cut off" any witchcraft that was happening or demonic spriit and moved on to the next person.
At the end of the meeting, my fellow staff Annie talked to the lady some more and found out that she was 1) healed 2) was not a Christian 3) had indeed been involved with witchcraft and 4) and was now ready to accept Jesus as her Saviour because she felt so full of the Spirit of God! Yay God!
That was my first real experience with healing--thrust upon me by a church and pastor who were used to moving in the supernatural.
In February this year I attended a conference at Bethel church in Redding, California all about healing. Randy Clark and Bill Johnson, both heavy-hitters on this topic, just blew me away with the revelation they brought. For the first time I understood both the importance of healing and the fact that the church has moved so far away from healing ministry being a normal and active part of church life.
It's become the norm for most of us to not experience supernatural physical healing. And we are generally comfortable with this, even though it is not biblical thinking. It's not the kingdom of God to believe for less than healing.
So after this conference, the lights went on for me. It was Randy Clark who said he prayed 200 times or more before he saw his first healing. And he has CRAZY stories of people being healing from Parkinson's and other serious illnesses...so I thought to myself...I can do that, too.
So when I got back to England in February I decided to join the Healing on the Streets team here in York. They go out twice a month on a Saturday. I haven't always been able to go(since I've been away several weekends) but I think today was my fourth or fifth time since March. The team prays and worships for about an hour and then goes out on the street for two hours. We erect a banner that says "Healing" and we set up chairs and have cushions (for us to kneel when we pray) Today was the day I finally got to see people healed!
A lady named Mariana had several physical problems...diabetes, a stiff neck, torn cartilage in her knee, and persistent migraines. She was suffering her third day of head ache pain. When we prayed the first time, her head pain left. She was amazed. we asked her "Shall we pray for your neck again?" and she was excited. She said "Yes!" so we prayed some more and her neck pain was gone completely. She kept moving it and smiling. She called her freind Kathy over "come over here! It really works!" So we prayed for Kathy. She had hip pain and asthma and told us she was struggling with depression. Mary and I were praying for her. Mary had a prophetic word for her about the depression and the lady confirmed she was right. Then we prayed for her hip pain and when we asked her about it, she said it was gone. I said "Are you sure it's not because you're sitting down?" and she said "No, because I was aware of it as I sat down...but now it's gone!" She was happy.
I was so excited! It was all happening today!
Then Kerry, one of the girls on the team asked for prayer for stomach pain and that left her also. YAY GOD!
It was just so natural and normal to move in this kind of power. That's what I liked about it all. We asked and God just did it.
I want to see this every day.
Churchification
Ok, so I'm no expert.
But I have theories running around in my head about most things based on my observations. You can tell me if you think I'm full of it or not ;)
One thing I have noticed is that most churches don't talk about real issues.
When I say "real issues"... I'm talking about things like divorce and separation in marriages(and how do we deal with this), internet dating and the world's current search for love in an increasingly isolated society, the lack of women in ministry and their role in the church, how to cope with singleness and abstinence, the growing rate of pornography in and out of the church, how to deal with eating disorders, Obsessive-compulsive disorders, self-mutilation, self-hatred, the growing depression in BELIEVERS... etc... the list goes on.
Now the reason I bring it up here is because I hear all about this stuff from the people around me...but it's rarely something that you will hear from the pulpit. And every time you do, it's so refreshing...you feel like like suddenly you're not alone in the world. There is someone else in the world as imperfect as I am.
I remember hearing a message from Bethel on "matriarchal leadership" and I cried. I cried because no one talks about that. And for the first time I felt really seen and heard.
David Pierce is part of a band called "No Longer Music"--big in Germany and eastern Europe-- and I heard him preaching on the need for "controls" on the tv set. He talked about how his wife has the code for all the channels because he can't be trusted not to look on the channels that have pornography. He doesn't want to be tempted so he makes sure she has that power. I love that. He talked about XXX church where you can receive accountability for looking at pornography online. There is software that you can have put on your computer that sends all the sites you have been looking at to other parties to help hold you accountable.
I love that kind of honest talk.
I love it when we can talk about the real things in this very real and dark world.
But here's where one theory comes in. I find that a lot of the clergy in our churches come from Christian backgrounds. They grew up in the church and have long histories of Christianity in their homes. And these are the issues they either 1) never had to deal with or 2) never talked about. So for them to talk about "sexual brokenness" is a big stretch. Brokenness of this kind is something that is not necessarily so close them. But it's close to so many people I talk to.
And what is it about all of us...once we get into church, we feel this need to look perfect and so "together"? Is that a religious spirit? This desire to 'look good' in front of others--wanting to please men. yuck. I know that one very well.
Coming from a non-Christian home--I have found myself a bit "edgy" for the church in the beginning. I liked to use language that is un-churched and out of the box. Because I didn't grow up in a Christian one. I had to learn all the churchiness. But I find myself constantly wanting to push the boundaries. Even now I sometimes say things for shock value... partially because I want the FREEDOM to say it.
Now I'm not saying I'm not in a box now. I think I have a box along with the best of them after being church-ified all these years. I become aware of it every now and then and it upsets me. I'll give you an example. When we were running the 24 hour Burn worship, three women wandered in from the streets and clubs. I had no idea who they were but they were making a lot of noise ringing the bell on the side entrance to our church. I was irritated. I asked my friend Paul to go check it out, because I could feel my irritation and didn't want to talk to them when I was feeling that. He found out they were unbelievers who were drawn to the music and had found the side entrance in to the church. Paul was excited and invited me to go talk to them. I went over and shared the gospel with them for 30 or 40 minutes. One girl asked question after question about Jesus. It was easy.
But I almost missed it because I was irritated. These girls were "messing up" our nice worship time.
Look how far I've come from being "edgy."
Sigh.
I remember hearing David Ruis, a famous Vineyard worship leader and songwriter, say that he was excited the first time someone puked in the church he planted! He thought "now we have real church!" When he started his church in Winnipeg, he invited the broken and the homeless and the street drinkers. It's bound to get messy. And that's exactly what he got.
Maybe I'm not YET ready for messy--but I'm getting there and I'm a little tired of all the "neatness." I think I'm getting so fed up I'd rather have real than pretty.
How do we get there? If we had the revival we are looking for-- and if suddenly all the broken people started to come to church-- what would we have to say to them? How would we help them in these issues? How do we help people coming out of homosexuality? How do we help sex addicts and porn-addicted men and women? Can we talk about these things..? Or do we remain silent?
But I have theories running around in my head about most things based on my observations. You can tell me if you think I'm full of it or not ;)
One thing I have noticed is that most churches don't talk about real issues.
When I say "real issues"... I'm talking about things like divorce and separation in marriages(and how do we deal with this), internet dating and the world's current search for love in an increasingly isolated society, the lack of women in ministry and their role in the church, how to cope with singleness and abstinence, the growing rate of pornography in and out of the church, how to deal with eating disorders, Obsessive-compulsive disorders, self-mutilation, self-hatred, the growing depression in BELIEVERS... etc... the list goes on.
Now the reason I bring it up here is because I hear all about this stuff from the people around me...but it's rarely something that you will hear from the pulpit. And every time you do, it's so refreshing...you feel like like suddenly you're not alone in the world. There is someone else in the world as imperfect as I am.
I remember hearing a message from Bethel on "matriarchal leadership" and I cried. I cried because no one talks about that. And for the first time I felt really seen and heard.
David Pierce is part of a band called "No Longer Music"--big in Germany and eastern Europe-- and I heard him preaching on the need for "controls" on the tv set. He talked about how his wife has the code for all the channels because he can't be trusted not to look on the channels that have pornography. He doesn't want to be tempted so he makes sure she has that power. I love that. He talked about XXX church where you can receive accountability for looking at pornography online. There is software that you can have put on your computer that sends all the sites you have been looking at to other parties to help hold you accountable.
I love that kind of honest talk.
I love it when we can talk about the real things in this very real and dark world.
But here's where one theory comes in. I find that a lot of the clergy in our churches come from Christian backgrounds. They grew up in the church and have long histories of Christianity in their homes. And these are the issues they either 1) never had to deal with or 2) never talked about. So for them to talk about "sexual brokenness" is a big stretch. Brokenness of this kind is something that is not necessarily so close them. But it's close to so many people I talk to.
And what is it about all of us...once we get into church, we feel this need to look perfect and so "together"? Is that a religious spirit? This desire to 'look good' in front of others--wanting to please men. yuck. I know that one very well.
Coming from a non-Christian home--I have found myself a bit "edgy" for the church in the beginning. I liked to use language that is un-churched and out of the box. Because I didn't grow up in a Christian one. I had to learn all the churchiness. But I find myself constantly wanting to push the boundaries. Even now I sometimes say things for shock value... partially because I want the FREEDOM to say it.
Now I'm not saying I'm not in a box now. I think I have a box along with the best of them after being church-ified all these years. I become aware of it every now and then and it upsets me. I'll give you an example. When we were running the 24 hour Burn worship, three women wandered in from the streets and clubs. I had no idea who they were but they were making a lot of noise ringing the bell on the side entrance to our church. I was irritated. I asked my friend Paul to go check it out, because I could feel my irritation and didn't want to talk to them when I was feeling that. He found out they were unbelievers who were drawn to the music and had found the side entrance in to the church. Paul was excited and invited me to go talk to them. I went over and shared the gospel with them for 30 or 40 minutes. One girl asked question after question about Jesus. It was easy.
But I almost missed it because I was irritated. These girls were "messing up" our nice worship time.
Look how far I've come from being "edgy."
Sigh.
I remember hearing David Ruis, a famous Vineyard worship leader and songwriter, say that he was excited the first time someone puked in the church he planted! He thought "now we have real church!" When he started his church in Winnipeg, he invited the broken and the homeless and the street drinkers. It's bound to get messy. And that's exactly what he got.
Maybe I'm not YET ready for messy--but I'm getting there and I'm a little tired of all the "neatness." I think I'm getting so fed up I'd rather have real than pretty.
How do we get there? If we had the revival we are looking for-- and if suddenly all the broken people started to come to church-- what would we have to say to them? How would we help them in these issues? How do we help people coming out of homosexuality? How do we help sex addicts and porn-addicted men and women? Can we talk about these things..? Or do we remain silent?
Friday, August 17, 2012
That was then, this is now
We have a tendency over the years to expect God to move in the same way He has before.
We look for Him in ways that are familiar to us.
I went to Wales two months ago as a part of a retreat and a pilgrimage to get more of God. I visited the "Fald-y-Brenin" Retreat Centre made semi-famous by the book The Grace Outpouring.
I expected to get hit with power and presence and some new great revelation. I was looking for a new impartation of glory.
It didn't exactly happen that way.
Instead I got sick-- twice. The drive there I was suffering with cold symptoms: tired, achey, head-ache. And then after I arrived, I had the worst eye infection I've ever experienced. Things weren't looking up for me. I was feeling discouraged.
Let me tell you that God used all of that. I'm not saying God sent the sickness. I don't believe sickness comes from God. I believe it's a result of living in a fallen world and experiencing the results of sin and selfishness or that it is a spirit sent by the demonic realm.
But as I was house-bound at various times during my stay in Wales, God could speak to me. He spoke to me about my pace in life. I was too frantic, too busy. He spoke to me about lies I had been believing--subtle things I had taken on from other people that were feeding fear in my life. It's so easy to do. We live in a world of unbelief. Sometimes well-meaning people give bad advice, trying to admonish us of all the things we need to have in place to do the will of God. But sometimes all God requires is that we believe. God loves to beat the odds. He loves to do the impossible through the weak...he loves to take the most unlikely situations and make them spectacular.
Shall we talk about Sarah? Shall we talk about Moses? Shall we talk about Gideon's army? Shall we talk about Jehoshaphat? Our God can do anything. He is not limited.
So why are you thinking like the world, Lisa?
God had to re-wire me a bit while I was in Wales. He was showing me that as I press in for His power and presence, I could not make any room for the leaven of the Pharisees. Even the tiniest lie could have huge repercussions. I had to be careful. As I step up my faith, the warfare would increase. That's why I was sick. I had to do some repenting from believing lies. And the enemy was sending sickness to discourage me through those lies.
Secondly, God was talking to me about forgetting. Forgetting what lies behind. I've lived a lot in these past 18 years of ministry. I've had some wonderful experiences and some really painful ones. It was time to leave the past in the past. I had to forgive--to let go of offenses and let go of how things were. That was then...this is now. God is not going to do the same things.
Look! He is doing a new thing... will you not perceive it?
God wants me to learn from the past and examine it carefully. But He also wants me to let it go. I can't carry it around with me like a bunch of extra baggage as I climb the mountains before me. I have to make sure I'm free and clear of the past.
So I made a list of things I needed to let go of. Relationships, minsistries...various experiences. And I had a good cry as I wrote it all out on paper. And I went out to this cross at Fald-y-Brenin and took my piece of paper and laid it in between the rocks. And I left it there. There at the cross.
Forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.
I felt lighter. I suddenly felt the urge to go UPWARD. As a prophetic act, I hiked up the mountain to say to God "I'm pressing upward..I'm not looking back and I'm staying with you and with the truth..."
It had been raining for days but I had good shoes on as I trudged up the hill. I felt hopeful as I walked away from the past and looked ahead. I looked down and saw this view (see picture) and thought "That was then, this is now. New things are coming."
We look for Him in ways that are familiar to us.
I went to Wales two months ago as a part of a retreat and a pilgrimage to get more of God. I visited the "Fald-y-Brenin" Retreat Centre made semi-famous by the book The Grace Outpouring.
I expected to get hit with power and presence and some new great revelation. I was looking for a new impartation of glory.
It didn't exactly happen that way.
Instead I got sick-- twice. The drive there I was suffering with cold symptoms: tired, achey, head-ache. And then after I arrived, I had the worst eye infection I've ever experienced. Things weren't looking up for me. I was feeling discouraged.
Let me tell you that God used all of that. I'm not saying God sent the sickness. I don't believe sickness comes from God. I believe it's a result of living in a fallen world and experiencing the results of sin and selfishness or that it is a spirit sent by the demonic realm.
But as I was house-bound at various times during my stay in Wales, God could speak to me. He spoke to me about my pace in life. I was too frantic, too busy. He spoke to me about lies I had been believing--subtle things I had taken on from other people that were feeding fear in my life. It's so easy to do. We live in a world of unbelief. Sometimes well-meaning people give bad advice, trying to admonish us of all the things we need to have in place to do the will of God. But sometimes all God requires is that we believe. God loves to beat the odds. He loves to do the impossible through the weak...he loves to take the most unlikely situations and make them spectacular.
Shall we talk about Sarah? Shall we talk about Moses? Shall we talk about Gideon's army? Shall we talk about Jehoshaphat? Our God can do anything. He is not limited.
So why are you thinking like the world, Lisa?
God had to re-wire me a bit while I was in Wales. He was showing me that as I press in for His power and presence, I could not make any room for the leaven of the Pharisees. Even the tiniest lie could have huge repercussions. I had to be careful. As I step up my faith, the warfare would increase. That's why I was sick. I had to do some repenting from believing lies. And the enemy was sending sickness to discourage me through those lies.
Secondly, God was talking to me about forgetting. Forgetting what lies behind. I've lived a lot in these past 18 years of ministry. I've had some wonderful experiences and some really painful ones. It was time to leave the past in the past. I had to forgive--to let go of offenses and let go of how things were. That was then...this is now. God is not going to do the same things.
Look! He is doing a new thing... will you not perceive it?
God wants me to learn from the past and examine it carefully. But He also wants me to let it go. I can't carry it around with me like a bunch of extra baggage as I climb the mountains before me. I have to make sure I'm free and clear of the past.
So I made a list of things I needed to let go of. Relationships, minsistries...various experiences. And I had a good cry as I wrote it all out on paper. And I went out to this cross at Fald-y-Brenin and took my piece of paper and laid it in between the rocks. And I left it there. There at the cross.
Forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.I felt lighter. I suddenly felt the urge to go UPWARD. As a prophetic act, I hiked up the mountain to say to God "I'm pressing upward..I'm not looking back and I'm staying with you and with the truth..."
It had been raining for days but I had good shoes on as I trudged up the hill. I felt hopeful as I walked away from the past and looked ahead. I looked down and saw this view (see picture) and thought "That was then, this is now. New things are coming."
Thursday, August 16, 2012
Love never fails and His hope does not disappoint
8 Love never fails; but if there are gifts of [c] prophecy, they will be done away; if there are tongues, they will cease; if there is knowledge, it will be done away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part; 10 but when the perfect comes, the partial will be done away. 11 When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I [d]became a man, I did away with childish things. 12 For now we see in a mirror [e]dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully just as I also have been fully known. 13 But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the [f]greatest of these is love. 1 Corinthians 13...
We may get it wrong sometimes, but if we love, we will never fail. I like that. And I can tell you, I hate failing. I hate it when I fail and I hate it when you fail. But if we manage to access God's love in our failures... we have not failed! It's an amazing thought.
I tend to have a lot of expectations--it is both my strength and my downfall. I live in the world of ideals and when you or I don't match up, I can be disappointed. I get disappointed in leadership, in church, in friendships, and most of all in myself... I expect a lot from myself and others...
But I know it's no way to live. It's that striving and driving part of my personality. God is teaching me to rest in the fact that we have peace with God by FAITH...we are justified by faith. Just by believing and trusting in Him. Not in what you or I can say or do. I know it's basic and simple, and yet so profound. It is something we almost just skip over when we are reading Romans 5...Therefore, having been justified by faith, [a] we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ...
I have peace with God and I have peace with you. Period.
Your righteousness or "rightness" does not come from you or me...but from God. And we have it by faith. Somehow, God's love "covers" all those imperfections. We can rest in that.
This side of heaven we will not see perfection. We know in part and we prophesy in part. There is no one who has the full picture or revelation. We won't get it completely--but if we rest in God's love we can live with those imperfections and come into maturity and peace with God.
I have this kind of childish streak in me when I don't get my way or when things are not the way they are "supposed" to be. I've noticed that it steals my joy. I am learning to remember that we don't have the full picture yet and that we are seeing in a mirror dimly.
And I am learning to feed on God's love daily. It fills me. It covers those disappointments...
3 And not only this, but [c]we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; 4 and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; 5 and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.
Even if I am learning that nothing and no one is perfect...I still persevere through the challenges and difficutlies. I am still reaching. And in my perseverance it is working in me proven character and in my proven character a hope that is not disappointed because of LOVE. I am tired of being disappointed because my hope was in the wrong place.
I'm not giving up. I keep getting up. And God helps me not to be disappointed because of HIS love.
So love never fails. Leaving childish thinking behind, I have to accept that there is no perfect church or relationship or leader... and live in the peace that God's love makes up for all our imperfections. I can accept the way things are without compromising my high ideals or standards. That's where God is taking me.
We may get it wrong sometimes, but if we love, we will never fail. I like that. And I can tell you, I hate failing. I hate it when I fail and I hate it when you fail. But if we manage to access God's love in our failures... we have not failed! It's an amazing thought.
I tend to have a lot of expectations--it is both my strength and my downfall. I live in the world of ideals and when you or I don't match up, I can be disappointed. I get disappointed in leadership, in church, in friendships, and most of all in myself... I expect a lot from myself and others...
But I know it's no way to live. It's that striving and driving part of my personality. God is teaching me to rest in the fact that we have peace with God by FAITH...we are justified by faith. Just by believing and trusting in Him. Not in what you or I can say or do. I know it's basic and simple, and yet so profound. It is something we almost just skip over when we are reading Romans 5...Therefore, having been justified by faith, [a] we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ...
I have peace with God and I have peace with you. Period.
Your righteousness or "rightness" does not come from you or me...but from God. And we have it by faith. Somehow, God's love "covers" all those imperfections. We can rest in that.
This side of heaven we will not see perfection. We know in part and we prophesy in part. There is no one who has the full picture or revelation. We won't get it completely--but if we rest in God's love we can live with those imperfections and come into maturity and peace with God.
I have this kind of childish streak in me when I don't get my way or when things are not the way they are "supposed" to be. I've noticed that it steals my joy. I am learning to remember that we don't have the full picture yet and that we are seeing in a mirror dimly.
And I am learning to feed on God's love daily. It fills me. It covers those disappointments...
3 And not only this, but [c]we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; 4 and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; 5 and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.
Even if I am learning that nothing and no one is perfect...I still persevere through the challenges and difficutlies. I am still reaching. And in my perseverance it is working in me proven character and in my proven character a hope that is not disappointed because of LOVE. I am tired of being disappointed because my hope was in the wrong place.
I'm not giving up. I keep getting up. And God helps me not to be disappointed because of HIS love.
So love never fails. Leaving childish thinking behind, I have to accept that there is no perfect church or relationship or leader... and live in the peace that God's love makes up for all our imperfections. I can accept the way things are without compromising my high ideals or standards. That's where God is taking me.
Monday, August 6, 2012
Pilgrimage
Blessed are those whose strength is in you,
who have set their hearts on pilgrimage.
As they pass through the Valley of Baca,
they make it a place of springs;
the autumn rains also cover it with pools.
the autumn rains also cover it with pools.
They go from strength to strength,
till each appears before God in Zion.
till each appears before God in Zion.
Psalm 84:5-7
I've always liked to do things quickly. I'm in a rush. I have this need to GET IT DONE--to keep moving--to make things happen. Go-go-go! I can be very driven and busy.
I think most of my life I have valued results over process...destinations over journeys, and product over performance... I have been interested in the OUTCOME...what have we achieved, what have we done? And sometimes if I can't measure that, I get discouraged.
But God is shifting this kind of thinking. I can feel it.
"All life in the Spirit either comes to us or is established is us by process..." Graham Cooke.
I've slowed down. God slowed me down when I moved to York. He did it in a process. I was all over the place--International, national and local. And the He got me focusing nationally by cutting down my travel and now I feel like a local yokel(local yorkie?) It's become even more dramatic in the past few months through forced sabbatical. If I had planned this sabbatical, I would have planned it. But God popped it on me and I'm now slower than ever. And I feel city bound.
Some people ask me "So are you planning next year?" and I have to tell them "No, I am not looking at it yet" and they give me a quizzical look. "This season is about rest" I told a woman on Sunday. (I usually say "rest and discovery or exploration" because I have ventured out into some other ministries also during this season). The woman I spoke to on Sunday had a doubtful expression when she heard me speaking. She was almost saying: Can't you see the nation is ripe for evangelism? God is moving! Yes, I see it, and yes, God is moving. But I feel like I'm this used car with a lot of mileage that is getting a thorough servicing... and I'm just not ready to move yet--not all my parts are working!! It's not easy being in the auto shop.
If I begin looking at next year, I won't stop looking at next year and I will miss out on what God is saying to me now. This is my sense. God knows me. I like to plan ahead and He wants me to live in the now. Live in this process and get some renewal.
I have needed a new perspective. Things have been out of sync for a while now and I am living on the fumes of yesterdays fire.
There is so much more, you see. There was that popular song in the 1990's:
Lord I groan, Lord I kneel
I'm cryin' out for something real
'Cause I know deep in my soul
There must be more
I'm cryin' out for something real
'Cause I know deep in my soul
There must be more
Lord I'm tired,Lord I'm weak;
I need your power to work in me.
But I can't let go...I keep hanging on,
there must be more.
I can feel myself being adjusted. I need to make some external adjustments, but mainly God wants to change me from the inside. The "more" i am looking for is more life in the Spirit. But this is not something that happens over night. And I'm striving to get it...striving not for results of a ministry or a church or a structure but for that PLACE of rest inside... and this place can be achieved internally and cannot be blocked by any man or structure...
As I look back on 18 years of ministry, I have real questions-- real concerns...about the state of my organization, about the health of the church, and about my own qualifications as a Christian leader. I'm an idealist, and this is not an easy place to live. I get disappointed-- because we're not THERE yet. We haven't arrived and I want to see SO MUCH MORE. How do I live in the tension of "not there yet"?
There it is again--- I want to have ARRIVED.
Strive to enter the rest.
Strive to enter the rest.
So here I am... in a process, on the pilgrimage... on a journey. So the big questions becomes...as one step on this long journey, what has God got for me today?
How can I cultivate faithfulness today? How can I let the Spirit of God lead me this day into greater thankfulness, greater humility, greater love? This is the day that the Lord has made...let us rejoice and be glad in it as we continue the journey...
I have a friend who says to me a lot "Keep it in the day" and I think that's right. I'm living one day at a time with God and this is helping me to live from a place of peace.
Blessed are those who have set their heart on pilgrimage.
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