That was then, this is now

We have a tendency over the years to expect God to move in the same way He has before.

We look for Him in ways that are familiar to us.

I went to  Wales two months ago as a part of a retreat and a pilgrimage to get more of God. I visited the  "Fald-y-Brenin" Retreat Centre made semi-famous by the book The Grace Outpouring.

I expected to get hit with power and presence and some new great revelation. I was looking for a new impartation of glory.

It didn't exactly happen that way.

Instead I got sick-- twice. The drive there I was suffering with cold symptoms: tired, achey, head-ache. And then after I arrived, I had the worst eye infection I've ever experienced. Things weren't looking up for me. I was feeling discouraged.

Let me tell you that God used all of that. I'm not saying God sent the sickness. I don't believe  sickness comes from God. I believe it's a result of living in a fallen world and experiencing the results of sin and selfishness or that it is a spirit sent by the demonic realm.

But as  I was house-bound at various times during my stay in Wales, God could speak to me. He spoke to me about my pace in life. I was too frantic, too busy.  He spoke to me about lies I had been believing--subtle things I had taken on from other people that were feeding fear in my life. It's so easy to do. We live in a world of unbelief. Sometimes well-meaning people give bad advice, trying to admonish us of all the things we need to have in place to do the will of God. But sometimes all God requires is that we believe. God loves to beat the odds. He loves to do the impossible through the weak...he loves to take the most unlikely situations and make them spectacular.

Shall we talk about Sarah? Shall we talk about Moses? Shall we talk about Gideon's army? Shall we talk about Jehoshaphat?  Our God can do anything. He is not limited.

So why are you thinking like the world, Lisa?

God had to re-wire me a bit while I was in Wales. He was showing me that as I press in for His power and presence, I could not make any room for the leaven of the Pharisees. Even the tiniest lie could have huge repercussions. I had to be careful. As I step up my faith, the warfare would increase. That's why I was sick. I had to do some repenting from believing lies. And the enemy was sending sickness to discourage me through those lies.

Secondly, God was talking to me about forgetting.  Forgetting what lies behind.  I've lived a lot in these past 18 years of ministry. I've had some wonderful experiences and some really painful ones.  It was time to  leave the past in the past.  I had to forgive--to let go of offenses and let go of how things were. That was then...this is now. God is not going to do the same things.

Look! He is doing a new thing... will you not perceive it?

God wants me to learn from the past and examine it carefully. But He also wants me to let it go. I can't carry it around with me like a bunch of extra baggage as I climb the mountains before me.  I have to make sure I'm free and clear of the past.   

So I made a list of things I needed to let go of. Relationships, minsistries...various experiences. And I had a good cry as I wrote it all out on paper.  And I went out to this cross at Fald-y-Brenin and took my piece of paper and laid it in between the rocks. And I left it there. There at the cross.

Forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead,  I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

I felt lighter. I suddenly felt the urge to go UPWARD. As a prophetic act, I hiked up the mountain to say to God "I'm pressing upward..I'm not looking back and I'm staying with you and with the truth..."

It had been raining for days but I had good shoes on as I trudged up the hill. I felt hopeful as I walked away from the past and looked ahead. I looked down and saw this view (see picture) and thought "That was then, this is now. New things are coming."